I kept thinking of my own two boys and I swear, my heart stopped beating when I thought of one of them not being here anymore. My life improved a lot, but I am still bored and find myself during on the next reading about death and deformities when I should be working or doing stuff at home for my family, and I often have scary thoughts about my kids and my husband dying. Therapy would be really good, to work on how to handle those dark thoughts and fears. But, every news story and tragedy I/everyone seems to hear on a weekly basis just makes me wonder “that could happen to me” and the worrying begins again! Life is for living so live it and make it wonderful. It doesn’t have to be forever. It’s to the point to where I hate letting him be babysat by anyone. It’s like I just read a mini book of myself and found out exactly what is wrong with me,just scared to ask for help and probably just continue dealing with it like I have. Please talk with a doctor and work with them on a treatment plan that is individual to you and what you are going through. Your brain starts picking up on all the change in your life, and starts producing adrenaline as a protective mechanism all day long until it figures out this new life of yours and determines it’s safe. It’s like if you think about something enough, your brain will kind of memorize it and refuse to let it go. I always had anxiety issues, when I was a kid I had repetitive thoughts of my mum dying or being killed while she is alone at home. I have lived with this ever since. You are not crazy for worrying. I remember coming home from the hospital, I starred at him, crying, balling my eyes out because I thought I was going to lose him. Your baby needs that love. I didn’t know there were others out there who go through this. Postpartum depression and the larger group of maternal mental health conditions called perinatal mood and anxiety disorders are caused by neurobiological factors and … I don’t mind taking him places out exploring and to relatives houses, I just can’t stand to leave him there. Jesus died once for all, for us to live forever in His return to earth. Anyway, hoping this medicine kicks in because I’m so tired of feeling this way. To this day, if my husband and daughter are out together, I sometimes start to obsess about car accidents, etc. During my pregnancy I started to be obsessed with deformities. and the consequences… I read a lot about breast cancer because many people I know had it and it’s something that scares me a lot. Whether it’s his aunt or grandma idc I don’t trust them. though all my fear and anxiety has not abated, i am not crying as much and my mood seems to have certainly improved. Stress 4. If we didn’t fear it then we would never survive. When I look at my baby I just think how i want us to all ways be together. I FEEL SO ABNORMAL!!! I REMEMBER WORRYING ABOUT MY MUM WALKING HOME. I don’t want to be selfish, i want to show him the world Ive just had a rough life myself . And I was bullied and hurt physically and emotionally which made me even more depressed. I’M NOW HUGELY REGRETTING NOT HAVING CHILDREN BUT CAN ONLY BE IMAGINE HOW I WOULD BE. A significant association was noted between postpartum anxiety and depression during the last week of pregnancy, postpartum depression, as well as postpartum PTSD. I now realize how precious ever single life is after giving birth to one. The official diagnosis will likely be anxiety. Like word for word. Almost 2 years later? I’M AMAZED THAT I HAVE FOUND THIS PAGE DESCRIBING HOW I’VE BEEN FEELING SINCE WHEN I STARTED PRIMARY SCHOOL. No content from this website can be shared or reproduced on any other blog, book or website without the permission of the Webmaster. Postpartum generalized anxiety is an irrational fear or exaggerated worry that something is wrong and usually involves worrying all day, everyday, and about many different things… But my fears are a little different. I swear if anything happened to my husband or my son I might as well be dead. Well I like to believe that I believe in it. But then a couple days after he passed, my thoughts started becoming more focused on the fear of death. I'm so glad you're going to the doctor, and I hope you're able to find some peace after seeing him/her. I have read my little book a lot and find comfort….so I must have been led to write it for myself. Predatory death anxiety arises from the fear of being harmed. idk…. I feel like I am in desperate need of help. I am a girl 18 years old and i have been facing with this problem for almost 3 years now. Everything we do in life is rooted in love or fear. I did it before I had kids, and since becoming a mom it has only gotten worse….although the meds keep me from becoming paralyzed by it. I feel like I’m going insane. You need sleep and you should be able to feel happy and free. I worry about my husband dying, my kids, but mostly..myself. Then I have the fleeting idea that I will just homeschool them and live in a cabin in the woods….These awful scenarios play out in my mind every. I mentioned this feelings and thoughts to my ob after my recent baby and of course he made me feel crazy by asking if I would hurt myself or my children. I know it’s very scary and upsetting, being a sufferer of anxiety myself. And you might consider talking with a therapist, and when/if you do, bring up OCD. I know this could be because my husband went to work one day and we never saw him again he had a accident at work the resulted to his death but it’s getting worse these feeling only thing that has happen lately is a co worker same age as me died and left her little girl and son I can’t even look them in the eye with out filling up . He ran from me down a wooded trail, with me calling for him. Thank you so much. It’s so hard, isn’t it? I am currently in counseling and group therapy…but for now, this post and these comments are bringing me comfort. My husband’s wrinkles, my “babies” moving out of the house, going to college, dating, when did all of this happened? Please someone help me or give me advise! It just feels that way because of adrenaline. Risk factors include relationship problems, excessive stress, a weak support system, financial issues, or a history of postpartum depression. What would my family do without me? This is nearly word for word how I’ve been feeling the past two years since my son was born. It’s an illness that can be treated. But if you can start therapy for it (counseling with a professional who can teach you how to deal with these thoughts) you can get through it and stop having these thoughts so much. This might sound wierd to all of you but I’m a 15 year old boy and I just can’t stop thinking about my family dying. Because it has been over a year and a half since I was diagnosed you start to question if it is "PPD" anymore. I fell down the stairs when he was 8 months old and my parents flew out fir a couple of weeks to help my husband with the baby so that he could help me. I do tone=s of yoga and hike and farm to no avail. That isn’t your fault, it sometimes just happens to a brain. I am 64, soon to be 65. I did get on medication. SO THAT TOO IS OF A HUGE WORRY TO ME. Postpartum depression gets lots of attention, but almost as many new moms have postpartum anxiety. But you don’t have to keep struggling with this anxiety. She will thrive in self-confidence and stability because of it. Keep talking to your doctor about your symptoms and how your treatment plan is working for you. http://postpartumprogress.com/womens-mental-health-treatment-programs-specialists-us-canada-australia I really hope someone is near you. I think that maybe it was with me all along and I was in denial. Its rediculous and I cant live my life with this constant fear because it is taking over every aspect of my life. Symptoms would be the fear, nausea, dizziness, lack of sleep, frequency of urination and tension features. I learn things from her about myself and where I came from that I didn’t know until now. I imagined I would be killed first and my kids (4&2) wouldn’t have anyone to fight for them. I have very bad thoughts , i always thing of bad things happend to us i just cant stop myself thinking this way. I continue to this day, after being on medication since 2004 and having gone through 2.5 years of therapy, to experience considerable anxiety over death/dying. I just keep almost trying to find something wrong with me. i must sound stupid but i just can’t face it, just the mere though ruins me. Aconitum Napellus is one of the best herbal remedies for depression and anxiety in Postpartum Depression patients who have a marked fear of death.The anxiety that gets worse in crowded places and while crossing the streets points towards the use of Aconitum Napellus. Postpartum anxiety disorders in new mothers are often missed. It was one of the worst passing a I had to deal with and affected me greatly because I felt so connected to this person on a level that was so deep and I never really felt that with anyone else since. Whenever i thought of it, i used to have intense anxiety, a feeling of impending doom, suicidal thoughts just imagining my life without him and then i used to cry on and off for hours together. I suppose I need to take what’s good about this part of postpartum anxiety and run with it, since I don’t know if it’s necessarily temporary. It worked! Every time I see them, they seem to age more and more. If thinking of death is causing you serious symptoms, you might instead receive a diagnosis of generalised anxiety disorder (GAD). What to do? I somet He’s feel like my husband would be better off without me if I weren’t here but then I think of my son and what it would do tdo him to be without a mother. I’ve always been able to talk myself out of any sort of anxiety attack, convincing myself it is not my intuition telling me something bad is going to happen, but my brain tricking me into feeling this way. Within the last few months I’ve lost two of my animals and now I have severe anxiety over my other animals dying. Read why. It’s not taking over my life and I’m hoping it’s just because I’m pregnant and my hormones are going crazy but it is something that has crossed my mind since my first son was born. Anyway…Sorry to ramble. It has been very stressful so I am sure this has contributed to my anxiety but I constantly worry about death. My fear of dying and not being able to do ANYTHING about it drives me crazy, not just but my loved ones as well. Sometimes i stay up late and cry about it at night. And it’s true. I want to know that I will be with my fam in the next life.. Hi Maria. Thank you for all you Moms do. I am struggling so much with all of these thoughts everyone has on here. Then when I was trying to get close to people they would leave me. I’m 23 and recently had my 2nd child in September, just 18 months after my 1st. His father who I miss dearly wasn’t really around to help me which made it a lot worse he was battling his own personal issues which later led him to die ????. I feel like after some reflection that life is a gift. I AM A FATHER OF A TEN YEAR OLD BOY AND THERE NOT A DAY THAT’S GOS BY THAT’S I DONT THINK OF HIS INEVEITABLE DEATH oR MINE OR OTHERWISE CLOSE TO ME I REALLY LET totaly CONSUME ME SOME TIME AND INDONTBKNOW WHAT TO DO I FEEL SO HELPLESS FOR ME A D MY LOVED ONES WHEN IT’S TIME IT’S TIME AND YOU CAN’T FIGHT THAT. Vin. I’ll briefly share this so that you know you aren’t alone and that you can overcome these feelings! Am I going crazy? I am thinking of seeking someone to talk to because I truly don’t think anyone should have to live this way. It began to fill my brain, taking on a life of its own and sometimes making it difficult to focus on anything else. Not right away after my baby was born but they just started now that she is 15 months old. I also forgot to add, that while pregnant with my first child in 2005, I began to fear death near the end of my pregnancy. I’m always the listener. It is not weakness. Hi my name is Kelly I have 4 children 3 with my husband who died when I was 23 and 1 with my partner now. Thank you for writing this article. Then when you talk with a therapist, you could see what they think about a plan for getting better. She is actually still suffering from the same thoughts and felt the same way, like her thoughts might be a premonition. I took all these online anxiety tests sine I didn’t want to talk to my parents about it (l’m 15) cause my mom doesn’t think it is anything serious. This is becoming severe that I pray almost every hour for their safety. As you know, motherhood doesn’t leave much time to your own thoughts. When he was overseas for 10 days I became convinced I would never see him again. I just think how if one of them was gone one day I couldn’t even deal with it. Some mothers live in constant fear that they will bring about serious harm to their baby, or even death. Thank you for sharing this subject on your blog. There is so much hardship … look for reasons to be grateful. I came across this article that took the words out of my muddled brain and put them in front of me! As a teenager, I thought I was untouchable, invincible, like many teenagers are apt to do. I fear I will die in my sleep and she will find me. I have 2 older boys.. Especially not since those around me are already grieving and scared in their own ways because of everything going on…. But not that severe as to affect my everyday life.. Here’s what you need to know about postpartum anxiety. I'm paranoid that my co-workers know I have PPD and they think I'm just a crazy mother wanting to be home with her baby (even though they don't know I have it). When panic attacks occur during the postpartum period, the fears may relate to the baby or motherhood, for example fear that the baby is about to die or fear that motherhood is making you lose control. This is not something I ever struggled with before. Sleep was a huge issue with my girl but now that she’s 4.5 months young, it’s getting better and easier and a lot more fun. And if anyone’s cry I don’t seem able to cumfort them I seem to push a lot of ppl away as well . My cat died when I was 10 and she was the same age as I was and that’s when the whole thing started for me. Even though my babies are alwAys with me, I still have that fear. Shall I seek for professional help? I am truly thankfull. Or if you have a relationship with a safe adult at your religious institution if you have one. . Katherine and Sarah, I cannot thank you enough for verbalizing exactly what I am experiencing and feeling. it seems to depression with obsessive thoughts. Postnatal Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Overwhelming and excessive anxiety, worry and fear; Agitation and irritability; Avoiding things out of fear or worry that something bad will happen; Agoraphobia – fear of being in open and public spaces; Suicidal thoughts or attempts; Panic attacks; There are three distinct and common fears that women with postpartum panic disorder face: Fear of death Okay so I have the same exact problem this article described my life but I have nobody to talk to and nobody to help me. I believe I also have something related to this. Although the thoughts haven’t completely gone away, they are much more manageable now and I don’t feel consumed by them constantly. Every time we’d drive on the freeway, I would lock the car doors because I had a recurring waking nightmare about a door malfunctioning and me or one of my family members being sucked out of the car, kind of like in the movies when an airplane door is opened mid-flight. Thank you for sharing your story. Also, please don’t feel alone. He doesn’t understand how much he means to me and how much I care about him too. It's so scary. I also think of things I am grateful for which is easy to do around my girl because she’s such a delight even when she’s mad or upset I tend to laugh because I am reminded to lighten up and just be there for her. And I know I’m not. Just recently in the past month I developed a fear of driving to the next town over because we could maybe possibly get in an accident on the way. In Aconite, the anxiety of the patient gets worse while crossing the streets and in crowded places. also know that our thoughts are strong and that the things we think and say get put out there in the world so think positive as much as you can and surround your love ones with positive thoughts instead of negative ones! It’s a common illness and fully treatable. Back when I was about 22 or 23 I started having panic attacks, so I went on meds (celexa or citalopram) and it helped me tremendously! 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